


Not a dream

by NovaNara



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Faramir has self-worth issues, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Pining, why isn't this a tag already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaNara/pseuds/NovaNara
Summary: Faramir's feelings are hopeless...like the rest of him, really. At least, that's what he thinks
Relationships: Aragorn | Estel/Faramir (Son of Denethor II)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Not a dream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TapTapAlways](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=TapTapAlways).



> A.N. So...my gift ends up being waaay late * and * depressing, but love, you know me. So I hope you'll forgive me a little bit. I've even rewatched the trilogy...for “research”...and well, angst burst forth even better. I'm afraid I'm monothematic.

Faramir is not in love with his new king. He admires sire Aragorn, of course; then again, you'd be hard-pressed to find a man, woman or child in all of Gondor and Rohan not in awe of his prowess. Faramir will also readily admit that the king is beautiful. He has eyes, thank you very much. Whether it is the Númenórean blood, living with the Elves for so long (they have a peculiar kind of beauty), or maybe all of that and more that Faramir will never understand, there's no denying that Aragorn is...aesthetically pleasant.

But still, Faramir isn't in love, because he can't be. To begin with, Aragorn being king means the man needs a heir. Not that he'll have trouble with it – he can literally have his pick of...any unwed child of Ilúvatar of the female persuasion, probably. It's natural, it's sensible, and Faramir is too secretly relieved of Aragorn's sheer existence to stand in the way of the bloodline. Truth is – all the rest being equal, but Isildur's line being long broken? – Faramir would have to take his father's place right now, and he's been told how inadequate he is too long not to find the prospect terrifying.

Besides, Aragorn met Boromir. That says all, really. Faramir is too tired – and not masochist enough – to start again trying for (all but begging, really) the affection of someone who can't deliver.

So no, he's not in love with Aragorn. And if he tells himself that long enough, maybe he'll start believing it someday.

Seriously, if he had a true self-preservation instinct, Faramir would leave. Put some good miles between himself and his king. Surely the farther provinces still have need of a soldier, even with Sauron's threat vanquished?

But Aragorn smiled, and asked for his help – help he couldn't possibly need – and who was Faramir to deny him anything? Yes, of course he knows the country inside and out, including the boring bureaucratic side of it. Denethor might not have trusted his decision-making, but it didn't mean that he wanted to deal with statistics and such (especially because reality didn't always affect his plans).

So they're alone in the king's study, sitting at the same table, close enough to touch, the documents of the past few years spread in front of them. Taxation, army expenses, treaties and more. Aragorn could just read up, Elrond surely raising him to the intricacies of leadership. Instead, he often points at a line, asking for more details than mere numbers can give.

Obediently, Faramir expands. He tries to keep his words short and to the point, but it takes only a slip to notice that it isn't what his king wants. Anecdotes are welcome, even when they don't strictly concern the quality of a region's wine production and accidentally move into 'first time drunk' reveals. Nostalgia is welcome, when talking about places they used to play in before the shadows lengthened. They're even answered in kind, with fragments of life, gossip on Elves, and so many stories Faramir feels he shouldn't be privy to. Not that he's going to tell Aragorn to stop. How could he, when the gentle eyes and the soft chuckles he's on the receiving end of feel like the weaving of a spell? Maybe that's indeed some kind of Elvish magic. But Gandalf isn't here to ask counsel from anymore, and he isn't even sure their library contains anything that could give enlighten him. He's certain that being caught during such a research would be embarrassing, though.

They don't go through near as many documents as they'd planned that day. Naturally, that just means that they have to do it again the following day. And again. Faramir is allowed to look forward to their work, isn't he? Whether or not he's being bespelled (perhaps accidentally? His king should realise there's no need of that), it's still...work. For his country and his king. Nobody could fault him for liking his duty.

When things settle enough for new documents to arrive, soon after the coronation, Aragorn invites him to his study again. Faramir might not have earlier insights on new data, but he's so used to it that neither he nor anyone else at court bats an eye. If the updated census hurts...well, it would be worse if nobody cared. The war is won. _These_ numbers can only get better. Faramir keeps working, enjoying the friendship, and - hopefully – burying his aching desire deep enough that nobody will ever suspect. Of course, he isn't so lucky. When has he ever been?

“I hoped you'd speak up, but a few months have gone by, and I'd rather have an answer, when people will start wondering why I don't have an official partner yet.” Aragorn's voice is as kind as ever, but with a teasing edge to it, and Faramir's stomach knots itself over and over.

“That's...I...What could I say?” He doesn't matter. The king isn't about to ask his opinion on which princess he should marry, is he? Damn. He should have run.

“Please don't take this as an offense if I'm wrong, I'm not a mind-reader,” says Aragorn, and Faramir is sure he could never anyway. “But I've caught a few hints and – if you would enjoy to be my consort, all I need is a word from you.”

That makes no sense. “The line of Isildur...”

“That doesn't matter. Look, I wanted to wait for you because – please don't think this is a request you have to fulfill.Or – anything else than an honest question. If I wasn't a king, if there was no concern besides your own happiness, what would you say?” There's an earnestness in the words that wrongfoots him.

“But it matters!” His own happiness has never been priority. It certainly isn't now. And it shouldn't be for Aragorn of all people.

A soft chuckle. “Of course it does, but – hear me out. There are ways around keeping the line intact, that require no third party intervention. No long term, at least. I mean, what use is it to be a wizard's friends if you can't ask for a little magical help once or twice? Again, ignore duty and everything else for a minute. What would make _you_ happy? That's all I'm asking.”

Maybe he's fallen asleep? That must be it. Aragorn is going to shake him awake soon, and then he can grovel. But if it is, there's no reason not to admit the truth. He's never sleep-talked, after all. “Without regard for any other concerns...you. I'd hoped not to be so obvious, but – I do love you.”

“May I kiss you, then?”

Faramir smiles, and nods, unable to form words. This is going to be a lovely dream. His lips are captured, and then the feeling of being in a dream only intensifies...until lack of oxygen forces him to admit that this is real. Oh Eru, this is real. “Aragorn..?” He's hoarse, tongue unconsciously licking his lips, seeking for more of the taste he's suddenly bereft of.

“Yes, love?”

He finds himself shaking his head, unsure of what he meant to say. Too many things, none of which he has the proper words for, not at the moment. 

“When we're finished with these documents, we're going to have a wedding to organize.” Aragorn is grinning. What can Faramir do, except beam back?


End file.
